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"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." by William E. Henley

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Without gray there's no black and white

Choices would be easy. Decisions even more, if everything was black and white. I believe there is right and wrong, I believe innocent until proven guilty and I believe in hearing people out. How else could I decide what is wrong or what is right. How can I make a decision about another person without knowing the grays. Where are all so much more than an online shop or a blog. We are humans. Some are mothers, some are sisters but we're all daughters. How we all got here is a different story and I am still finding that out. I've made some wonderful friends through this big cold online world, but do I truly know them? No, I am still getting to know them. There are so many layers to who I am and why I do things a certain way and I feel truly grateful for the people that I am getting to know that has opened their hearts and letting me show them who I really am .

There has been a rough couple days for me. People who I thought I was getting to know, has said hurtful things and discussions has been going on without me being invited, even though the discussions were about me. That is hurtful. I feel like I am standing at the bottom of a canyon screaming at the top of my lunges but no one can hear me. It's easy to judge by what you see. To assume. So say it's black and white. It takes more courage to ask and be willing to come to understand and even accept you might have been wrong.

So who I am? Some seem to have thought that all I was, was pinhweels... And maybe I haven't been as open about myself and allowing you to really get to know me as I could have been. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's a big scary world. But here we go. I'll start.


My name is Tess Norberg. But my full name is Maria Teres Mercedes Norberg. I bleed when I stab myself with the burnisher (which still happens on a regular basis). I am 31 years old and I was raised by a hippie mother. I dream of buying a house with a garden. I have two brothers.I moved from Sweden 2005 to Atlanta where I lived 2 years before I moved to Philadelphia. My kitties names are Lisa and Stella. My big brother is 7 years older than me and my little brother is 12 years younger. I love them to death. Meeting my boyfriend David was the best thing that has ever happened to me. My mother was smart enough to remove herself from my father who was an alcoholic and I was raised without one. But you can't miss what you never had.


I was always surrounded by art and I don't think there is any surprise that my big brother was working as a photographer and my little brother is a musician. Our family is creative. I don't know any other way to live.

When I was a child I had a whole imaginary world with creatures. I had a notebook from school where I used to draw all the creatures that lived in this world. I was an odd child. I had pet snails in an old tupperware container. I couldn't drink soda (still have a hard time with it) cause I got bubbles in my nose. I ordered pizza without cheese and tomatoe sauce (yes it was gross and therefor I was probably the only child who didn't like pizza. I just didn't know any better back then). I loved to read. The first real book I read was Stephen King "IT", and I read it in english when I was 10 years old cause that's the only copy my mother had in her bookcase. When I was 11 I went through a phase of being completely fascinated by vampires. I read everything I could about them. I wore fangs and a black cape that my mother made me (yes she was surprisingly supportive) and I played outside in the sun with my fangs and cape. I told you I was odd. But at least I never had any desire to dress up as goth in my teens.. I guess I felt I had already done that.

I paint.. or I used to paint.. The photos are of a panting I started more than 7 years ago and never got around finishing. Maybe it's not meant to be finished? Just like some fights are never meant to be fought. Maybe I should just let it be. It's called Hunted.

10 comments:

  1. tess -
    your talents are endless! i've always admired your work and your willingness to share and support other artists. i'm sorry that you're going through a rough patch and dealing with issues of loyalty. i'm sure you know this, you're better off alone than in bad company and your true friends will always be there for you:)

    keep creating!!!

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  2. This is a fab blog! All of it! I'll be back!

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  3. I love how you can put it all into words! You are so creative and kind. Your painting is lovely. Your childhood sounds awesome!
    xo

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  4. You are a crazy talented woman - who comes from some crazy talented people, I think your mom did an outstanding job missy!
    Just remember, I am always around to listen and chat, you and I think along the same vein.
    Hugs
    Jaim

    PS i love the faces in the rocks - awesome!

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  5. I'll admit to being guilty of rush to judgement in the past, you are so right about the gray area.....sometimes it is easy to forget. Thank you for so eloquently reminding me.

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  6. Amazing painting. Sorry people hurt you. :( *sigh* Women can be so catty (no offense to Lisa & Stella).

    I think you're great, both in talent and in personality. Can I be you when I grow up? :P ;)

    ~Crystal (2BellesBeads)

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  7. Thanks guys. It not so much about loyalty. It's more about how people act and justify their actions in the name of loyalty or what's right or wrong. I am all for right or wrong. For being loyal. For taking a stand for what you believe in. But to be blunt, the road to hell is all paved with good intentions. I just wish that people wouldn't be so quick to judge. I think communication is key to everything. If you're looking for answers, you have to make sure that you are looking in the right place. That's all. Thanks for the hug Nina :o)

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  8. Tess, your bio is fasciniating and makes me want to know more about all of the art that eminates from your family :-) I saw the ring my friend bought and was awed by how all those little details were so beautifully placed. I hope you keep moving forward!!! *hugs*

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  9. Just found you from etsy and quickly cruised your blog. Love this post. I like to *know* the person behind the jewelry I'll wear. Thank you for your transparancy.
    ~Claire

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I treasure your words and the fact that you are
taking the time to share them with me.
Please forgive me if I don't respond personally to you.
I always try but sometimes time just flies away!
love ~tess